Remake Remake Remake!

Further proof that Hollywood is completely lacking in new ideas. I’m pessimistic as far as how they will destroy yet another classic.

Emily Blunt is the perfect Mary Poppins!

The 34-year-old actress perfectly channels the iconic character in a brand new photo from Mary Poppins Returns. The pic, which first debuted onUSA Today, shows Blunt and her co-star, Lin-Manuel Miranda, taking a joy ride.

Hamilton mastermind Miranda plays lamplighter Jack in the movie, while Meryl Streep will play Mary’s cousin, Topsy, Dick Van Dyke will play Mr. Dawes Jr., the chairman of Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, Colin Firth will play William Weatherall Wilkins, the head of the bank, and Angela Lansbury will play the Balloon Lady.

Mary Poppins Returns takes place 25 years after the original Disney movie, which starred Julie Andrews in the titular role. The sequel centers on Poppins’ return to the family, when Michael suffers a personal loss in 1930s London.

As for whether Andrews will be making a cameo in the movie, which will be released in 2018, she revealed in June that it wouldn’t fit with the storyline.

“It’s 55 years since that Mary Poppins was made. This Mary Poppins is going to star Emily Blunt, and I’m a huge fan,” she said. “It’s a totally different story. You know, Disney had all the other Mary Poppins stories in its archives. So, why not use them up and make another one?”

“It’s [Blunt’s] movie,” Andrews declared. “It’s not a recreation of the movie by any means. …It is about the same character and other aspects that she did in her life.”

Who was the arrogant asshole who thought Mary Poppins needed to be remade? He/she must be somehow related to the asshole who thought Jumanji needed to be remade. All Hollywood is doing is destroying classics that were a part of so many childhoods. 

I like Mike Enoch’s attitude of how we need to create our own culture of critique and see some of these films Hollywood produces for the purpose of critiquing them and pointing out obvious flaws just like (((they))) did to our culture through years of Frankfurt school programming. 

So will I be seeing this atrocity? Maybe. But only for the purpose of pointing out yet again that it didn’t need to be remade. And any obvious (((messages))) that need to be torn apart.

I noticed that this version will have other scenes and various parts of Mary Poppins life. So here’s my first critique other than this didn’t need to be made. Mary Poppins was always meant to be a bit of a mystery. Stop revealing that which was meant to be unknown about her. The mystery made it fun!

Luke Skywalker Signals His Virtue

Well, technically it was Mark Hamill… but… you know.

Basically, it’s what was in the back of his mind.

Hamill has revealed some of the history he created himself to get into the mindset of an older, broken, and weary Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi.

Since it’s not canon, there’s no need for a spoiler warning. Instead, here’s a heartbreak warning: the actor devised an absolutely wrenching experience for one particular chapter in the character’s life after the events of Return of the Jedi.

“Actors like backstories. They want to know motivation and all those things, and it’s such a blank slate,” says Hamill, who has become so entwined with the character over four decades that he sometimes references himself and Luke interchangeably. “You know, if you look at it intellectually, I realized that it’s not my story anymore and so what [Luke] did or did not do in the intervening years aren’t really important to the audience at this point, but I have to work it out for myself.”

Hamill is probably wrong about that. Luke’s history is extremely important to Star Wars fans. But most of the books and comics about Luke that were written as part of the Expanded Universe are now decanonized and classified by Lucasfilm as “Legends.”
That’s why the actor felt he had leeway to imagine his own version of what happened to Luke during that in-between time.

“I wrote lots and lots of scenarios,” Hamill says. “I made notes that he fell in love with a woman who was a widow and had this young child.”

The monk-like Jedi aren’t supposed to have personal relationships, so Hamill says Luke would have temporarily left the order during this time. We know from The Force Awakens that he would later return and found a training academy for new Jedi (which had its own tragic end when his nephew, Ben Solo, fell to the dark side and returned to destroy the school as the monstrous Kylo Ren).

But this long-before imaginary relationship with the widow also had an unhappily ever after for Luke.

“He left the Jedi to raise this young child and marry this woman,” Hamill says. “And the child got hold of a lightsaber and accidentally killed himself.”

That’s darker and more painful than anything fans might guess about the hero, but to Hamill, it would have created the grief and guilt he could imagine leading Luke back on a redemption-seeking path. And it also might explain why the character is hesitant about holding a lightsaber again.

“It’s nothing to do with the story, but when I think about gun violence and you read these tragic stories of kids getting hold of their parents’ guns and killing a sibling or themselves, I mean, I had to go to really dark places to get where Luke needed to be for this story,” the actor says.

Again, this was just an acting tool, so you won’t hear this tale revealed in The Last Jedi or anywhere else. But Hamill said he would consult with writer-director Rian Johnson just to make sure the heavy emotions and turmoil he was generating inside Luke’s head hit the right tone.

So apparently virtue signaling liberals had problems with light saber violence that required light saber control laws in the same way dumbasses want more gun control even though they know nothing about gun laws or gun crime.

Looks like some liberal idiocy survived from a long long time ago in a galaxy far away. Which is a frightening thought.