Am I a Literary Heretic?

I intend to talk about this in my upcoming Wrap Up, but part of me wants to discuss it now.

I think I am a literary heretic. And after I explain why, I think some people might want to punch me. All the writers out there that are considered great, quite frankly are not my cup of tea. Ones that people really adore and have fan bases that reach the sky and beyond… yeah those. Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, The Bronte sisters, Charles Dickens, Herman Melville, Suzanne Collins, (recently Veronica Roth because Allegiant broke the Faucheux Rules of writing), and Tolkien, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Nathaniel Hawthorne… to name a few. Are you pissed off at me yet? Probably. Because all these people that others talk about being so bloody brilliant I just don’t find to be so. The recent one is Neil Gaiman. I am that odd person who just doesn’t GET what he is about? I have tried to read two of his books thus far and found both of them nearly unreadable. And I feel as though I need a disclaimer. Because I am not trying to say that my writing is brilliant and better that these people. I am NOT! I just don’t understand why some of them insisted on being personally responsible for lowering my GPA in high school and college.

I recently tried Googling “Neil Gaiman is overrated” or “I hate Neil Gaiman” just to see if anyone else out there felt the same way that I do. And I found one blog that agreed with me. ONE! Ugh. It’s not that he isn’t creative. In fact, he is so creative that I found his stories to be completely and illogically random. And a bit too angsty. I say that as someone who doesn’t mind a little bit of angst and is drawn to the darker side of things. So what gives? There must be something wrong with me.

I listen to a lot of successful author interviews in order to get tips on how to write better or with more confidence. One thing that they all say is NEVER to criticize another author’s work. So here I am, in a class by myself… doing just that. I have some people telling me that they really like my vlog channel for that reason. I am honest. I don’t say that I liked something when I didn’t. To me that is just common sense, but apparently it is actually a rare find. Especially on YouTube. So here I am. Doing exactly what you are not supposed to do. And hopefully not getting hanged for it.

Stephen King: Enough with the angsty kids who turn out to be psychotic. And this guy is CONSTANTLY saying bad things about other authors. Yet he is praised endlessly. Tried reading Carrie and a few others. Meh. Although Shawshank Redemption was fantastic. The movie, not the book.

Neil Gaiman: see above. But truly, I found his characters bland. I found his writing symptomatic of someone with ADD. And yet everyone says “You have to read Gaiman.” He seems like an awesome guy in real life. But I am still alone in that class.

The Bronte Sisters: Particularly Charlotte. I think I am the only one on the entire PLANET who thought that Jane was a moron for leaving Rochester. Oh sure, she picked up her pride and honor by leaving him. But what will that trade be worth in a year? In twenty? Over finding a truly great love. If I had a bat shit crazy husband in the attic, I might feel compelled to lie in order to get a slight glimmer of happiness back in my life too. Yet he is seen as a total monster for this. *head desk* This goes back to the whole ‘honesty is a virtue.’ thing. I know from experience. It ain’t. Mentioned this on Facebook one day and nearly got attacked by virtual sharp objects.

Charles Dickens: Great Expectations was one the worst things I ever read in my entire life. And it lowered my GPA. Just…No. NO!

Herman Melville: A story about a whale. Enough said.

Suzanne Collins: Broke a crucial Faucheux rule of writing. Watch my video on it if you are curious.

Veronica Roth: Also broke a crucial Faucheux rule of writing. Gah!

Tolkien: The description and lack of female characters. That right there. I just…meh. The endless description puts me to sleep. But the addition of Luke Evans to the films makes me want to watch ‘The Hobbit’ movies surprisingly.

F. Scott Fitzgerald: Another one responsible for lowering my GPA. Great Gatsby is some of the angstiest stuff I have ever read. And Daisy is so not worth the effort, Gatsby. So much of that story that others see as brilliant is half the stuff the pisses me off about literary writing. Which I have written about endlessly on other blog posts. Refer to them for more reference.

Nathaniel Hawthorne: Scarlet Letter also lowered my GPA. And I found it derogatory towards women, maybe even if the purpose was otherwise. But stories about people who do wrong things that aren’t considered so wrong today but were by Puritanical standards tend to piss me off. I know that makes me a little politically incorrect, but most of my views on the world are VERY far from peacy. So be it.

There it is. All the reasons for people to hate me.

Now feel free to throw heavy metal objects my way. I’m sure I deserve. *hides*

Which authors do any of you hate? So I can know that I am not in a class by myself at all times. Or am I?

2 responses

  1. I agree with you. I also have a hard time getting why some books/movies are so highly rated. Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudiced are just awful! I tried reading The Lord of the Rings and couldn’t get through a few pages. The writing is very difficult. There’s no flow to it. I felt like it was in another language. I did like the movies though. I also hated The Great Gatsby and The grapes of Wrath, as well as anything Hemingway. Not sure if it’s the time period/gloomy subject matter or the actual writing, but I really can’t stand them. I also have a blog and I wrote a scathing review of a book called The White Mare. Worst book I’ve ever read in my life and it had outstanding reviews! Another one I flamed was The Pillars of the Earth. Trudging through that thing was a nightmare! In my opinion, Ken Follett is a terrible writer. I don’t understand why being critical of other writers is so taboo. Figuring out what you like and don’t like makes you a better writer in my opinion. For instance, I’m reading a book that in the first paragraph the author writes the sentence, “The man was raw Sex, with a capital S”. What? Who writes that? Nobody talks like that, ever! Sentences like that make me crazy! There should be a law against describing things that way. I often notice things like that in books and think, ” if I ever write my own book, I would never do that, because that is just dumb!” If you don’t like a certain author or book, that’s OK. Don’t worry that you’ll get in trouble for calling something out. When I read a book based on over-hyped reviews, and then hate it, I get mad at the reviewer for wasting my time. Thanks for keeping it real!

    • Lord of the Rings never really captured me either. And people RAVE about Tolkien. Just not a fan. I feel bad for anyone who had to read him in school. Never read Pillars of the Earth… it just didn’t interest me. I sometimes think that these big people who review certain books and give them flying colors is because they are being paid to by the publishing company for the support.
      Raw sex with a capital S? OH MY GOD! Who writes like that? I read something recently that said “he was hott, and I mean hott with two t’s.” YUCK! I cringe just thinking about it.
      If you do write a book, you will be a better writer for knowing what you don’t like and what you do, because it will help to shape the way that you write and help you to avoid what you don’t think works.
      Strange you should say that, because I feel like my time is wasted as well when someone gives a rave to review to something that is clearly sub-par. *shrug* People talk about big booktubers that I think clearly just give something 5 stars for the sake of it. I would much rather hear what they really think.
      As always, thanks for commenting.

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