Today I would like to rant about a topic that has absolutely NOTHING to do with writing and everything to do with something that makes me cringe.

My teeth.

I was born 3 1/2 months premature. Now, given that small fact, I am quite lucky. I have known others who were also born that premature and did not end up so fortunate as I am. I have all my mental facilities (most days) and my body is relatively in proportion. I have known others who have disabilities in those areas because of the premature factor. But with me, my main fault and flaw regarding my prematurity is and always will be… my teeth. And low endurance, but exercise helps with that.

Let’s count all the work I have had done on my teeth. And keep in mind that the surgeries started when I was in the second grade, so this is only what I can remember.

– 4 teeth pulled (might be more, but that’s all I can currently remember. Basically my mouth was too small for all of my teeth).

– Overbite wire (makes the top 3 of most painful).

-3 Oral surgeries. (One in particular that left me practically deformed in the mouth and feeling like I got punched by Dwayne Johnson).

– 6 years of braces. (Don’t let anybody tell you that shit doesn’t hurt).

– Permanent wire behind my bottom front teeth.

– Three crowns.

– Bonding on my four front teeth (which is part of the problem now because they are relatively shot).

– Temporary frontal wire.

– Well over 15 cavities.

Now… all this is because I have extremely weak enamel. It is no fault of my own. I brush 3 times a day. Floss twice a day. Gave up refined sugar. And I have even been told that I brush too hard because I am so anal about keeping them clean.

Well, about a year ago, I went to the dentist before I moved and was told I had three cavities. No surprise there. It’s a running joke in my family for me to come home and my parents to ask “How many this time?”

But we were moving. I took my x-rays with me. But the dentist here naturally wanted his own X-rays done and wanted the money for that new Lexus payment…I have no doubt. Grr! This new guy said I had six cavities. Not three. But let’s remember, I was laid off. I had to save my money to get all this crap done. And I have been. In addition to my books, I have two other jobs on the side that help me to buy books and save for the important stuff. Like my teeth.

Well, upon deciding that the previous dentist was a quack, I went to someone new and closer to my family’s new house. And that turned out to be a good decision. Because she spotted things that the other two dentists missed. I almost feel like suing the other two if I could afford it because this could have been so much worse. Especially since the first one mentioned tried to tell me that this problem with my teeth was that I am an overall irresponsible person and I don’t take good enough care of myself. I could have slaughtered her. But that would inevitably get lawyers involved with my life. Not recommended.

The tally is as follows:

– My bondings new replacing.

– By this I mean that they are worthless. My teeth are worthless as well. Particularly my front teeth. The front two need crowns. One might need a root canal. (Need I remind you that this is not because I suck at life or at taking care of myself. My teeth have always just been rotten). And then they need to have veneers placed on top. At the end, I will have pretty teeth. But need I say OUCH????

– I only have two cavities after all. Har har previous dentist.

– And the mother of all mothers…I have three years of progressive gum disease. FUNNNNNNN!!!!!!! The new dentist called this the “silent killer” much like cancer because it can eventually cause septic poisoning in the blood stream. (Flashback to me on Thursday night with a glass of whiskey in one hand, dog in the other, crying my EYES out. To say I was freaked would be an understatement. I mean….WHY didn’t the other TWO dentists spot this???????????)

So……. today, I am going to get impressions done for these lovely veneers (which is gonna suck because I have a small mouth and the metal things make me gag like nobody’s business). And then…dear lord can’t believe this procedure even exists…….they are going to deaden my gums. All of them. Then lift them (YIKES) and clean UNDER my gums. And that is the first of my dental ventures in the coming months ahead.

Yeah… I’m freaking out. I thought I was getting beyond this teeth garbage when I had the bonding done years ago. I thought at the worst I would only need a few cavities filled.

No such luck.

So if I am absent for the next month or longer from my videos, it is because I have extreme pain of the mouth. Or my front teeth look like I am in transition toward becoming a zombie. Or something of that nature.

Excuse me. I need to go cry now.

Fuck my life.

Rant over.

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