Yesterday was by far one of the most interesting days I have had in a seriously long time. I was sitting in a café, one of my usual office spaces. A woman sat down next to me. I assumed because she was waiting for a woman who came in dressed rather professionally that she was going to be conducting a job interview.
Far from it.
She was a reader. She gave the woman who came in a Tarot reading. I have grown very interested in the metaphysical recently. And since I was so intrigued by her being there, one she was finished, I asked her if she could read for me. She said yes. I mean, she actually took time out of her day when she probably planned to leave and said yes! Then again, it did cost money and she probably saw an opportunity, but all the same. I am sometimes stunned when people take the time out.
She did a bit of numerology and then gave me the reading. It was SHOCKINGLY accurate and very close to what is currently going on in my life and what has been going on during previous months/weeks.
A lot was said. Basically that I got off track these past few months and now I am back on it. Very passionate, very introverted… but that my hermit time is very meditative for me and. Many other things I won’t get into, but one thing really stood out because she kept repeating it over and over.
My karmatic lesson right now is currently this: Have fun. No. SERIOUSLY, she said. HAVE FUN!
She reiterated that several times. Because I am trying to hold the weight of everything going on at home right now and it is not my responsibility. Stop feeling guilty. Stop thinking yourself responsible for everyone else’s well being and doing what you need last. Because that is why I have been suffering. So I need to get my butt out there and re-learn what fun is.
It is a running joke between me and my dad to say to one another… “Fun? I’ve heard of that term. Not sure what it means though.” Yeah, har har. But when you are caring for someone (my relative whom I have spoken about several times before), you forget that you actually have needs as well. And I have forgotten mine in recent months.
There is often a profound sense of guilt to the notion that you are allowed some “me time.” I often have to steal it. Just last weekend, I had to lie to a member of my family and tell them I had errands to run so I could get away from it all for a few hours. I went my local Fine Arts Museum and it was a total blast. The most fun and greatest escape feeling I have had in a while. But the fact that I had to lie about it was really irritating. Because normally, I would never be allowed to do such a thing without being called “selfish” by certain members of my family. Grr!!!
Anyway, lesson taken, and hopefully in the future lesson learned.
She also directed me to this amazing video by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote “Eat Pray Love” a few years back. She spoke at the TED conference I believe it is all called. The topic pertained to the idea that artists tend to put too much pressure on themselves and we need to let go of the idea that the genius comes from within. It often doesn’t. It is outside of us and just visits us once in a while, bestowing upon us this great moment of inspiration. Given that this a pagan concept, it was RIGJT up my alley.
Here it is and I hope who ever reads this decides to watch it. Because it is one of the best speeches I have ever heard. And every single thing said here is true.